Mean girls, kind deeds

When Jen Coté, Director of Theatre, announced Sonoma Academy would be staging Mean Girls as the fall show, students expected quick witted drama, humor and plenty of pink costumes. What they didn’t expect was weekly acts of kindness introduced and instructed by their director that would spill into their everyday lives. 

Coté introduced a weekly kindness challenge to accompany the production, designed to counteract the play’s themes of gossip and exclusion. “It is my secret dream that it catches on, that we’re not just trying to remind ourselves about kindness in our ensemble, instead, that we’re living it truthfully, and that it’s going to extend into our community because it’ll impact how we relate to our teachers, how we relate to our peers and our friends,” Coté said.  She explained how important it is to not let the themes of the show seep into the people performing. Instead, she offered the cast weekly kindness challenges, prompts to remind them that each person has the chance to make our community a little less mean. 

Week 1: Give a Genuine Compliment

The first assignment was deceptively simple for most. A younger sibling’s drawings, a friend’s top, a teammate’s shot. They all became opportunities to fulfill this weekly challenge. What began as a small nudge became a wave of positive emotions. Suddenly, rehearsals and hallways buzzed with unexpected affirmations.  

Week 2: No Gossip

The second week’s challenge required students to refrain from creating or spreading gossip, which was more difficult than it seemed.  With Mean Girls revolving around rumours and reputations, the irony was not lost on the cast. So instead, it was tailored to allow for gossip, though none that was degrading of any sort. The result? Conversations became more mindful and the habit of gossip lost its edge. 

Week 3: Acts of Service

The third week emphasized good deeds turned to action. No guidelines were given, the idea was to look for opportunities and step in. Some students helped each other run choreography at lunch, others rehearsed their lines with each other. Good deeds seemed to flow seamlessly into rehearsal. “That week changed the way I thought about helping,” Gigi Bruce-Low (‘29) stated, “I started with just picking up after dance rehearsals, then I noticed people were doing the same for me.” The effect seemed to catch on. 

Week 4: Reconciliation 

The fourth week shifted its focus to repairing relationships, whether this meant apologizing for a snapped comment or checking in on someone who felt left out. “There’s a lot of really mean, terrible behavior in the show Mean Girls, but the way the play ends is people own their mistakes and own their bad behavior.” Coté says, “Even the protagonist and the antagonist have a moment of apology and reconciliation at the end of the play. I wanted people in our cast to live that theme in their own lives.” 

Students practiced the uncomfortable yet transformative work of making amends. Daniela Aranda (‘27) states,“It changed my perspective and lifted a weight off my shoulders.”

The Culture Shift Backstage 

Though framed as weekly assignments, the challenges began to weave themselves into the cast’s daily life. Gossip carried less weight, compliments flowed freely and students seemed quicker to lend a hand. 

 “We can’t just say it once and let it go,” Coté emphasized. “I think it has to be part of our process every single day. I think that if toxic or mean girl energy starts to come up, it’s our job to address it at that moment and not let it build.” 

What began as an experiment in kindness became a culture shift, one that may last well beyond the final bow. The idea itself is simple: if a theater ensemble can transform its backstage culture through a handful of small intentional acts, entire communities can as well.  

Coté hopes the ripple effect continues. Imagine if every club, every classroom, every family even took on a weekly challenge of kindness and how it would affect the way we treat each other and the way we belong in the SA community. Juliette Coté (‘26) says, “I think [the acts of kindness] are helpful for our community.”

From the stage to the hallways, and perhaps eventually to the larger community, these students are proving kindness, when practiced consistently, can be just as powerful as any line spoken under the spotlight.