As the reader may know, Sonoma Academy has quite a few couples among the Staffulty. For Valentine’s day, we caught up with one member of each couple and asked a few questions—hoping for romantic stories and sweet memories. We got quite a few of both.
RODNEY AND TRAVIS:
Rodney and Travis Fierce have been together since 2012. Rodney is a beloved Humanities III teacher, and Travis is our hardworking Facilities Director. Rodney was more than happy to retell stories (stories his students may have heard over the years), and talk about the evolution of his relationship. All quotes below are his.
Rodney met Travis on “May 18th, or 19th, 2012,” a week after Rodney’s birthday and his graduation from the Masters program at Simmons University. He’d flown home to St. Louis with his parents, and was out celebrating with his friends.
Someone started hitting on him who he “desperately did not want to be” hitting on him. While Rodney was trying to find a way out of the conversation, Travis walked up and “rescued” him. They “started talking for about two and a half hours.” Then Rodney asked him out to dinner. He remembers Travis saying “wait, you really want to go to dinner with me?” Rodney said, “Well, of course I do.” They ended up going out five times that week, and their relationship “kept going from there.”
Rodney quickly realized that this new relationship was different from anything else he’d experienced. He “knew very early that he was different and he was probably the one.” “There were moments,” Rodney said, where he’d begun to see this, but “also it just sort of was.” One of the first times Rodney remembers this being the case was while they were on a date in the Missouri Botanical Gardens, the summer after they met. Travis told Rodney more about his past, about his daughter and his past marriage. Rodney emotionally said “the way he talked about his daughter just let me know this was someone I really could spend a life with.”
They dated all summer, but once September came Rodney needed to move to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to pursue his PhD. He’d be away for two years. Rodney figured that would be the end, because “who wants to go to Mississippi?” But, to his surprise, Travis told him he was being transferred to Springfield, Missouri for his corporate job with Sprint. The towns were a little over nine hours apart.
Travis said “I can make that work.” And, “every two and a half weeks for two years” until Rodney finished all his PhD coursework, “he did.”
So, according to Rodney, “anyone who will drive to Mississippi for you is worth marrying.”
Indeed, they’re married now, and Rodney told the story of their engagement with a laugh. “Two years in,” Rodney said, they “were eating pizza, drinking beer, and watching the TV show Once Upon a Time.”
Travis said, “I think we should get married.” And Rodney said, “I agree.” Then Travis said “How about August?” “That’s cool.” And then they started calling people and telling them they were engaged.
But “Travis didn’t like that story, and so he was like, no, no, no, no, I want a do-over.” So they went on a cruise, and at midnight, as they sailed out into the Gulf of Mexico, Travis took Rodney to the very top of the cruise ship, “he got down on one knee, and he proposed.”
That’s the story Travis likes to tell, but Rodney likes the “Pizza, beer, Once Upon a Time Story” more because “that’s more us.”
They’ve been married for twelve years.
To conclude the interview, Rodney had to make a difficult decision. He had to say his favorite thing about Travis. After pausing, this is what Rodney said: “He is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Genuinely kind. And also one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
“Travis was married before and has a daughter who he adores. But when he realized that he was gay, he made the very difficult decision of blowing up his whole life so that he could live the life he felt like he was meant to live. And he made certain that he took care of his daughter and that everything was okay, but I’ve always admired the strength of him doing that. Particularly at a time when most gay men wouldn’t. It was dangerous to do that. It was career suicide. It was social suicide. In some cases, it would actually get you killed. And Travis did it anyway. He did what he needed to do.”
“I have always admired that kind of fortitude. That’s one of the things that also made me fall in love with him. I realized that’s a man. That’s a man who can take responsibility for his life and build the life he needs to build. And that was just, I thought that was just incredible.”
ERIC AND OONA:
Eric and Oona have been together for nineteen years, and married for seventeen. Eric is our architectural and engineering mastermind, and Oona is the behind-the-scenes genius Director of Academic Services. Eric, once he had a free moment between hectic class periods, was also happy to talk a little about his relationship. Again, all quotes below are his.
Eric and Oona met at “a party for a friend, a birthday party.” As Eric wandered around, he noticed a wonderful smell. ‘It was French bread,” he said, “and the smell filled up the whole house.” Eric asked around: “Who is cooking the bread?”
“Oona,” they told him. “Who’s Oona?” he asked. He turned around, and there she was. According to Eric, “perhaps there were some stars, some sparks, but something happened and since then Oona’s always been my little loaf of bread.”
As for one of his favorite memories, Eric talked about a trip they took to Mount Lassen. They camped, hiked, and just enjoyed the outdoors together. “That’s when we’re both at our best,” Eric said, “It’s simple really.”
To conclude, he was asked about his favorite thing about Oona. To begin, he said “we’re a good team. We’re very different.” Eric is an extrovert, while Oona, Eric said, is an introvert. But he thinks they “balance each other out really well.”
Oona is also “a great partner to do things with.” “It’s good to have a calm, relaxing relationship,” Eric said, “You can recharge and then be creative and recharge and be creative.”
“Yeah, that’s a quote right there.”
KERRY AND JAMIE:
Kerry and Jamie are our pair of illustrious Humanities teachers. Kerry teaches the sophomores in Humanities II, and Jamie teaches the freshmen in Humanities I. Kerry, while eating lunch in her room, was able to talk a bit about their relationship. You get it: all quotes below are hers.
They first met at UC Davis. Kerry was doing a PhD program, and Jamie was “the new kid coming into the English department.” He was doing an MFA in creative writing. At Davis, the English department and Writing department are closely connected, and Jamie was taking some literature classes that merged with Kerry’s.
Kerry’s dissertation director told her there was a new student, “and he’s from Connecticut like you.” Her director brought Kerry over to him, so she could meet the new guy. Jamie had just driven all the way from Colorado in his pickup truck, where he’d been “working maybe at a ski boarding school or something, being outdoorsy.”
They had a slightly awkward exchange, talking about how they’re both from Connecticut. “The Nutmeg state,” Jamie said, to which Kerry responded “the Constitution state.” They probably laughed, but for the next while they were around each other “tangentially, like in the same parties” or seeing each other “in passing.”
They were in separate relationships “for like a couple of years,” but then they both “went really bad.” When Kerry “got majorly dumped,” as she put it, she thought “that guy was nice. That Connecticut fella.” And maybe Jamie thought the same about her “when his girlfriend turned out to be insane.”
They went out, and soon enough they were dating.
For her favorite memory, Kerry first thought about a surf trip they went on to Costa Rica. She was “all for it,” but she was “not good on a short board,” and “it was a short board break.” The waves were high.
Kerry “was still not too good at duck diving.” Nevertheless, she wanted to surf these giants. “They weren’t that giant,” she admitted, “but they were overhead.”
Every day on that trip, Jamie and Kerry got up in the morning dark to go out. It would take her forty minutes to battle out to the break, but she “did it for love.”
When asked about something that surprised her about Jamie, Kerry laughed, and said “I didn’t know he was as smart as he is. I just thought he was a nice, funny guy, outdoorsy, and then he turned out to be really, really smart.”
Discovering this was a “gradual thing.” It’s not that Kerry didn’t think he was smart, she “just thought he was more life smart.” She “didn’t know he had that academic thing,” and wasn’t sure if they’d “connect on that.”
“But so it turns out he was like Mr. Academic,” she said, “I’m not sure that there was a moment, but bit by bit I was just like, oh, you’re a nerd. You’re not just a guy with a pickup truck and a dog. You are. But you’re also a total nerd at some level.”
BRANDON AND IRMA:
Brandon and Irma have been together for an incredible almost 35 years, married for 31. Brandon is our other adored and admired Humanities I teacher, while Irma is an Academic Services Coordinator and constant friendly face on campus. Brandon was, of course, more than happy to talk about his relationship with Irma, and you may be surprised to note that all the quotes below are indeed his.
They originally met when Brandon volunteered to teach conversation classes in Indonesia. Irma was in one of his classes, right away he “was smitten.” He kept going over to her house, but “she didn’t say anything, didn’t give [him] any hope.”
In his awkward visits, however, he started to become friends with her house cat. In fact, the cat’s presence was “kind of a relief.”
One day, while he was over at her house, he tried to talk to Irma’s dad. But he didn’t understand a word of Indonesian, and while they struggled to talk, the cat came in trying to get Irma’s dad’s food and “he kicked the cat over the fence.” Brandon thought “Oh my God, this is just hopeless. I can’t understand her dad. She’s not talking to me.” So he just went home.
But on his way out, he “found the poor cat,” and tried to get it off the road and bring it back to their yard. He thinks Irma saw him trying to take care of it. “And eventually,” he said, “she came to my house and brought me the cat. She thought I should own the cat. And that was kind of how our relationship starts. She gave me the house cat that they didn’t really take very good care of.”
Students and Staffulty may remember that last year Brandon did a surprise homecoming ‘proposal’ to Irma during a community meeting. He says he hasn’t always “been the best about holidays,” like Valentine’s Day, but his “favorite thing to do is surprise her on a regular day with something nice because it’s more of a surprise and there aren’t any expectations.”
Usually, Brandon said, they end up “celebrating Valentine’s and our anniversary with our kids, which doesn’t seem romantic, but we love our kids so much and so we celebrate with them.”
When asked about his favorite thing about Irma, Brandon had many: “I like her voice, her laugh, I like her smile and I love her hair and she sits on the sofa watching dumb Instagram posts and she laughs and she laughs so hard and I just like to watch her do that.”
He keeps a photo of her, smiling, in his wallet with him. “It’s just her, though,” he said, “And it reminds me of when we first met, what she looked like. I found this and I just carry it everywhere.”
